I can hear the voice of hope all around me… Be optimistic… Smile… Take
care of yourself… the words which I often hear every day... How come that???
Suddenly in a blink of time I was forced to take care of myself… from the most
secured world to the streets of insecurity… from the heaven of love to the hell
of loneliness… I know 21 years is not at all a period to curse god… curse my
life… I haven’t learned any lessons in my life… But for sure there is something
which turned me away from myself… as seen in a Facebook post I have stop
talking to stranger, that is I have stop talking to myself… I have become
stranger for myself…
Now I wonder how I laughed on silly things in my life… How I loved
people around me… How I cared every bit of life in this world… How I spoke to
all who ever I met, how I played, how I cried, how I got tensed for simple
matters, how I was able to send frequent messages… Oh!!! I can’t believe that
it was me who did that… It’s only during the time when I go through my memories
I am able to hear my heart beat…
I know I don’t have the right to blame or right to complaint… God have
punished me for my greed… When I wanted my parents he took them away and gave
me a world full of love, my grandparents and brother… and I forget the god who
gave me that world… So he punished me by taking them away… and threw me into
the ocean of punishments and miseries… God was not so cruel… at certain times
he send some golden stones into the ocean… And when my punishment was over he
again took me to the world of hope…
And I got all my happiness back… I got you in my life… my life was colored with love… I was able to see the essence of love in all around the
world… I got all wonderful gifts in my life… But all of them existed only for a
short span of time… The creator again punished me for my greed… he took
everything in my life… like a wave… I am punished again… severely… Now i don’t
even have my heart with me… he punished by taking my love, my life, my happiness,
all my abilities…
Now what I am supposed to do is to live like a doll who moves on
someone’s order… I am not able to see a single face which gives hope to live…
But I am bold enough to receive this punishment because I know what my mistake
was… A bad omen is always bad… where ever it be… I can see my wick starts
burning… I can see my dreams are turning into ashes… I can hear the mourning of
my soul… But among them the cruelest thing is memories…
I am hurt but I am also grateful for whole hoard of memories that I
buried in my mind… that I never forget… those days, nights, the laughter,
madness, friendship, love… But one thing still hurts me… I can never have a
sunshine bright in my heart….. !!!! But one thing I want to tell the world I was never a best
thing happened in anyone’s life, also I was never the worst… You deserve better
never mean I am worst…!!!
